I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
