i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
