yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
