I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
