So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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