Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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