Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
