Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
A+ Viking dick
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