i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
