I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
