from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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