oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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