did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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