seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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