well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
