im having a threesome with these popsicles
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
