Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
