So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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