lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
