the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
