They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
