I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize