Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
