Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
