Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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