have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
