dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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