There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
