I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
