I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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