I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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