we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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