between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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