Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
