she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize