Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
barbara walters just said penis...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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