Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
