"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
