U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
