I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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