you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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