mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
