gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
