Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
