I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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