i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
