would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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