Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
