I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
