Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
