My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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