We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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