I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize