I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
