i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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