How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
