I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
