I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
