i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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