I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
