dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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