My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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